We all have had a lot of childhood dreams and one of the most common ones is getting older! It feels so sad and funny at the same time how we used to fantasize about growing old so we can do whatever we want to. Our tender minds made us think that we will be able to take all our decisions without any permissions and when you grow old reality laughs at you. As soon as we reach the ‘adulting’ phase we are set to go on the fastest roller coaster with too many ups and downs. Crossing the teenage and being an adult is the toughest transition but the worst part about it is when you realize you are crossing your 20‘s now. Often described as a midlife crisis, the 20-25 time is when we experiment the most in our lives.
We go through a lot of hardships trying to figure out what we want in life but for some people, it extends more than that. We all know a lot of people who are in their late 20’s or mid 30’s, unemployed, single and unsettled. Often they are the sanest and mature people we know so definitely being under-qualified is never the reason.
There are people who just don’t want to settle for anything that comes their way and they want something much more out of their lives. But having such preferences and dreams and sustaining in an irritatingly curious society is next to impossible.
Many of us wish to see ourselves to be extremely liberal and aware people who accept everyone the way they are.
If not completely, but still to a large extent we have accepted sexual relationships before marriage. We not only accept, but appreciate self-dependent and working women. We even fought for same-sex marriage. We are accepting and encouraging so many different lifestyles, like never before. Which is great!
Yet we have a tendency to still have different notions about people who are unmarried at the age of 30. There are repeated questions thrown at them regarding their marriage. Such people often have to face humiliation when they are doubted on their physical and mental abilities. The question is, why society can’t accept any man and woman as they are and respect their decision. There is a recorded incident from Indonesia where a frustrated 28-year-old man killed his pregnant neighbor because of repeatedly questioning him ‘when is he getting married.‘
In your thirties, being unmarried attracts a lot of people, just differently. People not only want you to get married, instead, they want to get you married. You receive help in the worst form; marriage proposals. Ironically, the quality and quantity of the help take a dip when you arrive your forties. Because when you are in your forties, it’s too late.
A lot depends on your social behaviour, if you’re single and going through a tough phase in your life, get ready to receive rueful sympathy. And if you are happy and at content, questions will be raised, a lot of questions.
The situation is even worse for the single women crossed over 25, because either they are suspected of having an affair or there is some flaw in you. It’s even more annoyingly pathetic because men who are much elder than you, try hitting on you. They assume that now when you are at this age you’ll settle for anything. The unwanted sympathies and suggestions are the worst part.
You should definitely read the quora thread aptly written about how Indian society treat you if you are an unmarried male over 30 years of age?
But if you look at it from the individual’s point of view, it is immensely liberating to choose not to burden yourself with responsibilities. Being single teaches you to love and nurture yourself. They say age is just a number and this imply rightly for marriage too. Single or married – let this be your choice.